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- Trudi Daniels Moonves (@TrudiDan) & Marc Fellhauer Moonves (@MarcFell) are here today!
- Marc’s fat, the Lions lose again, Carrie Underwood & Bradley Cooper look hideous, Zetterberg hangs up the skates, bad reviews for White Boy Rick, Florence v. Mangkhut, everyone’s a Moonves, feces in the news and will Drew actually show up?
- Julie Chen Moonves throws her support of her husband in everyone’s face when she makes the end of Big Brother on Thursday all about her, sweetheart.
- We are all exhausted from the weekend. Drew is still in transit from Chicago, Trudi spent the weekend doing yoga with the ‘girls’, and Marc spent a long sweaty Saturday at the Big House.
- Twitter was so kind to inform Marc that he looked fat on Let It Rip Sunday morning. At least he has a new favorite pastor.
- The reviews of ‘White Boy Rick’ have not been kind. BranDon saw it after tricking Kristin & gave a review. He also made a new friend during the film. During the red-carpet on Thursday there was an incident involving Rick Wershe’s sister.
- Larry King Moonves supports Julie Chen Moonves’ support of Leslie Moonves.
- Brett Kavanaugh Moonves has been #MeToo’d. The accuser has revealed herself.
- The Detroit Lions lost again. Yawn. Were they screwed by a bad call? Yawn.
- The WNBA team that won the championship turns down the non-existent invite to the White House that was never coming.
- Soon-Yi Previn-Allen-Moonves is breaking her silence on Woody Allen, Mia Farrow Moonves and Dylan Farrow.
- Sean Penn Moonves was really weird on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Why can’t he act like a person on a talk show?
- Hurricane Florence is wreaking havoc on the Carolinas. When is it ok to loot? Mike Seidel Moonves gets busted for creating real ‘fake news’ and the Weather Channel makes up a lame excuse for him.
- As bad as Hurricane Florence is, it’s no Typhoon Mangkhut. SIST: Is Mangkhut a name?
- Apparently the new iPhone is sexist because a few people on Twitter said so.
- Marc doesn’t understand the ‘fashion’ of college students because he is old. BranDon used to wear stupid pants when he was younger.
- Some nude fool set his house on fire by trying to make cookies on a George Foreman Moonves Grill after drinking an impressive amount of vodka.
- A Kentucky woman resisted arrest by turning herself into a disgusting (yet impressive) poo cannon.
- Carrie Underwood Moonves was on the CBS old man show this morning looking disfigured.
- Celeb News Roundup: Justin Bieber Moonves married Hailey Baldwin Moonves. Matthew Perry Moonves wants you to know that he’s been in the hospital not ‘on a roll’. George Michael Moonves spent $1.2 million on hookers for digression that apparently ended when he died. Lucas Hedges Moonves is promoting a movie by saying he’s not straight, nor gay, nor bi-sexual, but he does have sex. Dustin Johnson Moonves trades down from Paulina Gretzky Moonves.
- Former NHLer Tim Brent Moonves is getting death threats because he legally killed an animal.
- The captain Henrik Zetterberg reluctantly retired ending yet another great Red Wing career.
- Hep A is running rampant over Michigan. This time it hits the Renaissance Festival. Gross!
- BranDon took a dump in Chili’s and made another friend.
- We try to call the middle school art teacher who is wearing the same outfit every day to prove a point to her students that won’t care, but will talk about how weird she is for the rest of their lives.
- Bradley Cooper Moonves was the Elephant man and looked ridiculous. Trudi thinks he looked ugly in Limitless leading to Marc & BranDon defending his hotness.
- Murder news: A serial killer was caught and the twist is… he was a US Border Agent. Beware of the murdering mariachi band. The Toronto serial killer Bruce McArthur Moonves is the least covered serial killer.
- Some creep was pretending to have Down syndrome so he could get his diaper changed by strange females. His planned worked until his mom ruined it for him.
- The car of the Nazis has finally been discontinued.
- Drew never made it.
