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- Trudi Daniels (@TrudiDan) & Marc Fellhauer (@MarcFell) are here today!
- Andy Dick joins us, more celebrity PSA’s about COVID-19, Antonio Brown’s back with his baby momma, Michael Strahan doesn’t have enough money and former intern Kennedy tells us about spring break 2020.
- The state of Michigan closes all restaurants & bars for in-house dining. Maybe because some people refused to practice “social distancing” for St. Patrick’s Day weekend, but at least those people had fun.
- The silver lining if you have COVID-19 is that diarrhea is an unlikely symptom.
- Latte Larry’s opened on Curb Your Enthusiasm & it’s a defecation free zone.
- Elton John has postponed his shows including his Detroit dates.
- Millennials need to buckle down & fix this whole COVID-19 business.
- Business is not as usual & the airline industry is allegedly ready to go under despite charging extra baggage fees for years.
- Mesa Tacos & Tequila has been impacted by the current crisis & is transitioning to a curbside model.
- We’re calling our favorite Gen Z intern Kennedy to find out about Social Distance Spring Break 2020.
- Celebrity Coronavirus Look-at-Me News: Brandon Flowers plugged his own song to remind you to wash your hands, Hillary Duff wants Millennials to stop killing old people, Mel Brooks’ kid shows that he didn’t get his dad’s writing gene, Hugh Jackman did a second take on his hand washing PSA that didn’t involve wasting a ton of water & Arnold Schwarzenegger apparently has a zoo filled with mini-animals where he makes his Coronavirus PSAs.
- Trudi comes close to billing Drew for her time that was wasted watching the newest Mark Wahlberg movie. Spenser.
- Breaking News: Ohio is having a one time liquor buyback option for bars who stocked up for St. Patrick’s day & are now stuck with a bunch of inventory.
- BranDon doubles down on his pandemic denial in the face of increasing shutdowns.
- Lizzo made a looooong Instagram post leading a spiritual meditation session to help people deal with the Coronavirus quarantines.
- We give Andy Dick a call to find out what he knows about the Coronavirus & catch up on the myriad of events that Andy’s been involved in since we last spoke including the shooting at his gallery.
- Mike Tyson, Violent Jay & Shaggy 2 Dope are the latest additions to the Cameo family.
- The Boner Line gets poppin’ for the 100th time & it’s full of Coronavirus deniers. Call/text (209)-66-BONER from the comfort of your quarantine since there’s nothing else to do.
- It’s the End of the World as We Know it & the only thing to do is crank some old R.E.M on repeat. Drew has created a list of “apocalypse songs”.
- If Drew was only allowed five albums on a dessert island, he’s gaming the system by bringing a slew of double albums to tide him over.
- Some skank went viral with the Coronavirus challenge on TikTok which involves licking an airplane toilet seat.
- Kid Rock’s bar in Nashville is taking a stand against the mayor & waiting for the governor’s word to shut down business.
- The jerk that hoarded hand sanitizer & then tried to gouge people during a pandemic is being ordered to donate it all & is facing legal charges from the AG.
- Breaking News: Antonio Brown has reconciled with his baby mama & is now engaged, putting an end to the ‘No White Women in 2020’ platform.
- Michael Strahan doesn’t want to pay child support, but has no problem hiring a private investigator to follow around his ex in an effort to paint her as an unfit parent.
- Pete Davidson isn’t Jon Cryer’s only Twitter reporting beat. He’s not moved onto Governor shaming.
- Some people are saying that former Tallahassee mayor Andrew Gillum faked alcoholism to detract from the fact that he’s headed to rehab for meth.
- No audience was in studio or at home for the latest democratic debate where Joe Biden pandered to women by announcing he’d have a female running mate.
- Ford is attempting to keep factories open amidst the growing number of confirmed cases of COVID-19 & the UAW is threatening a walkout.
- Kris Jenner wasted a Coronavirus test after experiencing zero symptoms.
- Six-foot cardboard discs are the latest tool used for facilitating social distancing.
- Tom Hanks & Rita Wilson are out of the hospital, but Idris Elba & Tormund Giantsbane are taking their beds.
