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- Tom Mazawey (@TomMazawey) & Marc Fellhauer (@MarcFell) are here today!
- Jim Brandstatter calls in after being blown out by WJR, only $499,700 to go for the Boblo Boat GoFundMe, George Clooney’s bike accident, our Camoes are still unfulfilled, the World Cup rocks and Tom’s unhealthy obsession with Hope Solo’s BH reappears.
- Maz sold Kennedy a preowned lemon & strongly suggests that she turn it in & buy a new car.
- The Brandy-man canned & replaced by Lomas Brown.
- The cave kids & coach have all been successfully rescued without the help of Elon Musk’s kiddy submarine that was made explicitly for publicity. There are already plans for a boring movie. The rescued kids are trying to cash in on the world’s good will.
- Maz has been dodging potential customer Chris’ emails & calls… maybe he should give Jimmy D a call to see if he wants his business.
- The dudes that were restoring the Boblo boat don’t seem to know when to call it quits as they’ve announced that the recent torching of the boat won’t slow the restoration.
- The IRS scammers that have been hounding Hu Gepeniss made a mistake when they called Oakland County Executive L. Brooks Patterson who is looking to launch an investigation.
- ML Elrick is calling the studio to shamelessly plug his upcoming celebrity bartending gig at Thomas Magee’s in Eastern Market to benefit Clark Park with Erika Erickson.
- Last night’s Proposal featured a hot GILF.
- States are signing a petition to try to boot Gretchen Carlson as Miss America’s leader & reinstate the swimsuit competition.
- Some female rockers are mad at the Pussy Melter guitar pedal, but we want a Bonah Makah one. Meanwhile: there’s new info on the 1-year-old that died in Detroit.
- Breaking News: Col’s Place in Madison Heights burned down & the employee interviewed on the scene seemed pretty geeked to have the rest of the day off.
- Hope Solo’s butthole makes an unfortunate surprise reappearance.
- We are tying to call Jim Brandstatter so he can break his silence about his recent replacement by Lomas Brown but we’re having some trouble getting ahold of him. Before we get him on the phone let’s engage in some reckless speculation & see how many people Maz can offer as a backup interview for Brandy.
- Johnny Depp who previously changed his Winona tattoo to Whino has cleverly changed his Amber Heard tattoo from Scum to Scam.
- George Clooney got in a pretty serious scooter accident that allegedly launched him 20ft in the air.
- Kylie Jenner removing her lip fillers is considered news now.
- People are mad at Trump for interrupting The Bachelorette to announce his SCOTUS pick. #THANKSTRUMP.
- After much pleading & begging from Maz, Jim Brandstatter calls back to talk about his time broadcasting with the Lions, being blindsided by the news of his replacement & Brandy remembers the time that Maz stole Beckman’s parking pass.
- Jalen Watts-Jackson is leaving MSU football to join the Air Force. Marc admits he’s being a baby by never having seen “that play”.
- Mr. Baker managed to weasel Franco Harris’ Immaculate Reception game ball out of the stadium & he’s holding onto the thing like it’s his retirement plan.
- A baby girl in Detroit died after falling down a hole & drowning in the flooded basement of a major house of SKANK.
- Maz doesn’t like Zac Efron for his cultural appropriation of dreadlocks. O.J. is great though.
- LeSean McCoy has been accused of hitting his girlfriend, her kid & their dog in an alleged ROID RAGE!! He’s also allegedly a crappy tipper.
- Johnny Manziel is a full time bench warmer in the CFL.
- Farmington Hills is such a nice community, but even they aren’t immune from fake animals fake eating the real power lines.
- The parents of the clumsy BRAT that climbed on a statue in an art gallery got the insurance to cough up $107K for the broken sculpture.
- Pitbull Police Pat emails Drew to brag about narcing out a dog owner who locked their pitbull in a hot car with the windows up & engine off.
- Marc has ordered 2 Cameo’s from Kevin Federline & Farrah Abraham but yet to receive anything.
- Today in history to include: 68′ Stones were #1 with satisfaction, 70′ Keith Emmerson joined Lake & Palmer to form Emmerson Lake & Palmer, 79′ Chuck Berry charged for tax evasion, 86′ Jerry Garcia went into a diabetic coma.
