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- BranDon (@Pro_Duecer) and Marc Fellhauer (@MarcFell) are here today!
- Eulogizing John McCain, shooting at a Madden tournament, fired for farting, Alan Trammell’s number retired, Jefferey Dahmer’s panache, Nathanial Abraham supporters and green blob tattoos are all the rage.
- Lynyrd Skynyrd knew how to party back in the day. RIP to Ed King, who passed away while Drew was watching the new documentary on Showtime.
- Paul Flart was unjustly fired from his security guard gig for posting his farts on Instagram.
- Alan Trammell had his number retired by the Tigers today on Alan Trammell day. How convenient!
- Multiple people are dead after a shooting at a Madden 19 tournament in Jacksonville. It was streamed live on Twitch & you can hear the shots being fired. SIST: Atlanta vs. Atlanta wouldn’t happen in real life.
- Aretha Franklin Death news day #643: Aretha had a ton of homes, some nicer than others. Michael Scott & Al Sharpton have a new competitor in the R-E-S-P-E-C-T spelling contest. PETA wants her furs to put back on animals. The Westboro Baptist church is protesting her funeral and it’s not because it’s full of politician speaking including Bill Clinton.
- John McCain passed away this weekend. What an amazing life. Plus he introduced us to the Palin family!
- Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has a nice tweet about McCain’s death that amounted to treason for some of her followers.
- Too much death as Robin Leach also died & became this weekend’s “Farrah Fawcett”.
- The scammers are bypassing old idiots and going right at college idiots now.
- Preseason football update: It’s still boring & the Lions are still the Lions.
- Nathaniel Abraham claims he being tortured in jail. More importantly his supporters still exist.
- Murder Made Me Famous on Reelz focused on Jeffrey Dahmer this week. The commenters seemed to love Jeff. It must be because he was loaded with ‘gay panache’.
- An assistant principal in Troy was arrested for home invasion for the alleged purpose of stealing opioids. She got $40 & WASN’T FIRED.
- Ben Affleck’s ex is a hero for letting him hit rock bottom, but he’s a bigger hero for going to rehab for the third time.
- BranDon went to Niagara Falls & Toronto for vacation so he could make Kristin play video games at the Hockey Hall of Fame.
- An officer in Westland was suspended for making a “questionable decision” like many people do every day.
- Tattoo News: Cardi B is nude with a green blob, Janelle from Teen Mom is dancing with a green blob, Justin Bieber has a stupid mustache & a green blob and Mel B has a green blob & a new tattoo to match her hairdresser.
- A 13-year-old crashed an ambulance because he cannot steer.
- Paris Jackson wished Macaulay Culkin happy birthday and we know about it.
- Aaron Hernandez sold his jersey to Chad Ocho Cinco do fund a drug deal.
- Asia Argento made some great decisions.