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- Tom Mazawey (@TomMazawey) & Marquay Fellhauer (@MarcFell) are here today!
- Chris Cuomo hates The Godfather, Andy Dick gets sucker punched, Placido Domingo’s creepy #MeToo’s, Mia Khalifa was underpaid, Andrew Yang cried and we get to the bottom of why Monkeemobile Mel hates us.
- Andy Dick got sucker punched in New Orleans. We call to make sure he’s OK.
- Lenny Dykstra is fighting the Bagel Boss Baby. For some reason we cannot get a hold of Nails anymore.
- Fredo is apparently an offensive term for Italians now that someone said it to Chris Cuomo. We call one of Maz’s many 4-syllable friends Ralph Focaraccio to find out about ‘Fredo’ being used as a racial slur.
- President Trump continues to stoke the Jeffrey Epstein conspiracies by throwing Bill Clinton under the bus for flying on the Lolita Express 20+ times & claiming it was only 4.
- Bill Gates is in big trouble with Melinda today after it was revealed that he was one of the names on the flight log for Jeffrey Epstein’s private jet. When it’s bad news for the Gates, Melinda’s name is always omitted.
- Drew & Marc are hounding BranDon to make a financial plan for Maddie’s college, but thanks to ‘Crazy Bernie’ tuition may be a thing of the past.
- While comforting a mother who lost her child to a stray bullet, Andrew Yang broke down crying because ‘it could’ve been me’.
- Breaking News: We have some inside info on why Monkeemobile Mel won’t talk to us anymore. We should have known a few months ago but Maz never told us the info. We call the original source Karen to get the scoop & have her throw Maz further under the bus.
- Mia Khalifa seems to be bad at contract negotiations, but is now starting a new career as a sports reporter.
- Bella Thorne is making her directorial debut on a Pornhub joint titled Him & Her.
- Deepfake face swapping is fun when it’s Full House or Bill Hader.
- Mayor Fouts won Drew’s vote when he laid out a plan to stop basements in the Warren area from flooding.
- Whitney Cummings is being extorted after the comedian accidentally shared a topless picture of herself on an Instagram story.
- Maz feels duped after he bought a soldier’s meal & she left in a brand new Range Rover. He allegedly also has an affinity for the Coast Guard.
- Opera legend Placido Domingo is busy getting blown out of multiple venues & partnerships after multiple sexual assault allegations were levied against him.
- Tool broke a Billboard record with the longest song to make it to the Hot 100 at 10 minutes & 22 seconds.
- Drew & Marc sending out good vibes to all the fellow left handers out there on International Left Handers Day.
- This Week in Soft Rock is a total mess that includes one thing about music.
